The Cop Read online

  ‘You knew it was going to be a boy?’

  ‘Yes, after a scan, we were planning to call him Robert after Kathy’s late father.’

  Hodgson swallowed hard. ‘I’m so very sorry.’

  ‘It was a truly awful time for both of us. All that hope, the anticipation, coming to such a tragic and sudden end. Kathy fell apart. She totally disintegrated. I tried to help, I tried to support her, but nothing I ever said or did made even the slightest difference. After five happy years of marriage that one awful event wrecked our lives. Kathy didn’t stop crying for days, and then when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, the depression really set in. She’d just sit there, staring into space with a blank expression on her face for hour after hour. She thought she heard the baby crying one awful night I’ll never forget. She stood in the bedroom, shaking me awake and saying she’d heard the unmistakable sound of a small child whimpering. She rushed around every room in the house, upstairs, downstairs, looking in every cupboard and drawer while I desperately tried to persuade her to see sense. She collapsed to the kitchen floor in the end, weeping uncontrollably as her chest heaved and she gasped for breath. I’d never seen anyone in such a state. Not even on the job.’

  ‘That’s terrible, Mike, I can’t think of anything worse.’

  ‘I think Kathy blames me in some strange way she can’t even begin to explain. As if the baby’s death was my fault. As if I could have waved a magic wand and prevented the miscarriage. If only life were that simple! I’ve tried telling her things can get better with time. But she doesn’t want to hear it. She’s turned against me. It’s not possible to reason with her any more.’

  Hodgson blew the air from her mouth for a full two seconds, carefully considering her choice of words.

  ‘My sister had postnatal depression after her second one. Completely out of the blue. It was bad. I know it’s not the same as what the two of you are going through, but she’s over it now. That’s what I’m trying to get at. Hopefully, Kathy will pick up soon too, just like my sister did. I always liked Kathy. I hate to think of her as unhappy as she so obviously is.’

  His eyes narrowed. ‘Are you saying you know her?’

  ‘Well, yeah, or at least I did when we were teenagers. We went to the same church youth club. We were good mates for a time. Plymouth is a relatively small pond. Most people know each other in one way or another.’

  ‘She never said anything.’

  ‘Why would she? We were kids. It was years ago. We haven’t seen each other for ages.’

  Conner acknowledged Sarah’s observation with a subtle nod of his head, trying to read her thoughts, to drive home his advantage. ‘Kathy’s psychiatrist said she’s going through a grieving process of sorts. He explained it to me – man to man – when she was out of earshot. She’s stuck at the anger stage, that’s what he said. I get it, I do – but why she has to take it out on me time and again I don’t know. It seems never-ending. I still love her, she’s still my Kath, but she’s changed beyond all recognition. Life’s blunted her edges and warped her thinking. It’s taken a heavy toll.’

  Hodgson screwed up her face. ‘I didn’t realise things were quite as bad as they seem to be.’

  ‘We were close once. Really close. Kathy’s the love of my life, my soulmate, but I can’t take much more. She’s breaking my heart one day at a time. I try to focus on work, to look for the positives, but it’s getting harder with every day that passes. I’ll be on the happy pills myself soon if the situation doesn’t change. She tells so many lies. To me, to anyone who’s willing to listen. Horrible lies, cruel lies. She tries to hurt.’

  ‘I’m so sorry; I don’t know what more I can say.’

  ‘It’s truly unbearable at times. If someone had told me how bad things would get, I wouldn’t have believed them.’

  Hodgson forced out an unconvincing smile which quickly faded, a small part of her wishing she’d sat talking to somebody else entirely.

  ‘I guess Kathy’s hitting out and you’re in the firing line. You’re an easy target. That’s how it happens sometimes. People hurt those who are closest. You should have heard some of the things my sister said to me when she was at her lowest. Hang on in there, Mike, that’s my advice. Things will pick up sooner or later. Everything passes, it’s just a matter of time. My sister is happy again now. They’ve had another child and life’s looking rosy. It’s almost as if her depression never happened.’

  Conner wiped a tear from his cheek, meeting her eyes, holding her gaze until she looked away.

  ‘I bloody well hope so, Sarah. She’s even talked of suicide. An overdose, slashing her wrists, hanging herself by the neck, the list goes on and on. I’m worried sick every time I leave her alone in the house. The girl still means everything to me, even with all her problems. It would break my heart if she followed through on her threats. I imagine myself walking in from work one day and finding her dead. The possibility haunts me, but what can I do? I can’t watch her every second of every day. Not unless I set spy cameras up in the house. I only wish I could.’

  Hodgson reached across the table and patted his hand. ‘Things will get better. They’ll work out in the end. Just like I said. You wait and see.’

  ‘I hope so, Sarah. I really hope so. Life’s like a waking nightmare at times. I don’t know how much more I can take.’

  3

  Kathy was still cleaning a spotless kitchen floor when her husband returned to the house at just gone seven o’clock that evening. She tensed as he strolled casually around her, carefully examining every inch of the room with cold eyes, seemingly devoid of emotion.

  ‘Hello, Mike. I’m nearly done. Is there anything I can get you? How about a nice cold beer and a slice of melon before I dish up your meal? I’ve got a particularly sweet and juicy golden honeydew in the fridge. I could serve it with a little brown sugar, just as you like it. And with a glacé cherry on top. You’d enjoy that, wouldn’t you? You usually like cherries.’

  Kathy felt his hot alcohol-soaked breath on her skin. The stink of it filled her nostrils as he stood behind her, hissing into her ear at touching distance.

  ‘Why the fuck didn’t you finish cleaning this place before I got home? It’s been hours since I went back to work. Are you really that inept? I made my expectations perfectly clear in simple language even you should have been able to understand. Clean the place. That’s all I told you. Clean it properly before I arrive home for the inspection. Surely, even you should have been able to finish in time for my arrival. That’s not too much to ask, is it? Can’t you even manage the simplest of tasks to a basic standard? A trained chimp could manage as much. Why so pathetically slow?’

  Kathy dry gagged, swallowed, and gagged again as she searched for the right words. Anything to appease him. Anything to bring the interaction to an end, whatever the outcome.

  ‘I wanted to m-make sure everything was perfect for you. Cleanliness is next to godliness. It’s my purpose in life. That’s what you said, wasn’t it? I was simply following your instructions, that’s all. I’m sorry if I’ve let you down again. I didn’t mean to. I just wanted it to be perfect. I’ll try to do better next time.’

  He grabbed her ponytail, jolting her head back sharply and holding it there for a few seconds before speaking again.

  ‘Nothing you do is ever perfect, bitch. Not even close. You’re a fuck up. A lower form of life, a slug, a rodent, a waste of space and oxygen. You should know that by now. I’ve told you often enough. Weren’t you listening? Perhaps you should clean out your ears. Hitler had the right idea. If I put you out of your misery, it would be a service to humanity.’

  ‘I’m doing my b-best, Mike. Honestly, I am! Why don’t you sit yourself down in the lounge and I’ll get you that cold beer I mentioned? I think there’s a football match on the BBC. You like football, don’t you? You could sit back and relax after a hard day. That would be nice, wouldn’t it? I could serve your food one course at a time whenever you’re ready. You could
ring the bell or shout out, and I’d come running.’

  Michael drew his leg back and kicked Kathy’s blue plastic bucket hard, sending a stream of warm and soapy water spilling across the floor from one end of the kitchen to the other.

  ‘Are you trying to get rid of me, Kathy? Is that what you’re doing with your offers of beer and food and sport? Is that your little game? Do you really think I’m that stupid? I hope not, for your sake. That wouldn’t go well for you. It wouldn’t go well at all.’

  ‘Of course I’m n-not trying to be manipulative. I’m just trying to be nice, that’s all. I’m trying to be a good wife. The kind of wife you deserve. I’d never underestimate you, not for a single second. I know you’re much cleverer than me. I’d never suggest otherwise. You’re the master and I’m the servant.’

  ‘You’re never going to get rid of me, bitch. I own you. Not that you’re worth very much. I wonder why I waste my time on you sometimes. Maybe I should sell you. That’s assuming anyone would be willing to pay.’

  Kathy looked away, focussing on nothing in particular.

  ‘I just t-thought you’d enjoy a nice snack. I didn’t mean anything b-by it. I want to make you happy. I like to see a smile on your face.’

  He lurched forwards, grabbing her forearm tightly, digging his nails into her soft flesh, rushing her towards the hall.

  ‘Best not try to think for yourself, there’s a good girl. Just follow my orders, if you can manage that much without yet another cock-up. I think that’s advisable, don’t you? Leave the thinking to those of us with a fully functioning brain, eh. You’d only make a fool of yourself again like you always do.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘You amaze me sometimes. Why embarrass yourself? Are there any lows to which you won’t stoop?’

  Kathy stumbled, losing her footing as he dragged her towards the staircase in the hall.

  ‘You can’t even walk in a straight line without falling over. It would be funny if it weren’t so pathetic. What the hell is wrong with you, woman? Is there nothing you can do without fucking up?’

  Kathy lifted herself to her feet with the aid of the bannister, wincing as she felt a thin stream of warm urine running down one leg, soaking into her jeans. ‘Sorry, Mike, I didn’t mean to offend.’

  ‘You never fail to let me down.’

  ‘I don’t know w-what more I can say.’

  ‘Stop your pathetic snivelling, woman. What use are apologies? Now get up those stairs, take a hot shower, brush your teeth, apply some perfume to mask your stink, and lie face down on the bed until I get there.’

  She ascended the first two steps on trembling legs, not looking back, never looking back, praying he’d disappear, wishing she’d never met him in the first place.

  ‘Would you like me to wear any particular perfume for you?’

  ‘Why do you always feel the need to ask? Aren’t you capable of even the most basic decision without my input? It’s perfume, not rocket science.’

  Kathy whispered her words just about loud enough to make herself heard.

  ‘I w-want to be sure I choose the right one, that’s all. I wore the wrong one last time. It made you angry. You punished me. You didn’t like it at all.’

  He sighed theatrically, forcing the air from his mouth.

  ‘Wear the one my mother sent you last Christmas, the one that smells of roses. And use plenty of it. Splash it on. Bath in the stuff if you have to. But, whatever you do, make sure you mask your smell. It’s off-putting! You’re like a fucking skunk.’

  Kathy stood on the landing, statue-like, temporarily unable to move as she searched for the right words to shut him up. But what could she say in the light of such wanton cruelty? Nothing she could utter would engender anything but rage. It was sometimes better to say nothing at all.

  ‘Didn’t you hear what I told you, bitch? Am I not speaking English? Or perhaps I’m not speaking loudly enough for you? Please don’t tell me that your ears are becoming as useless as the rest of you.’

  ‘I’ll wear the perfume as you said. I’ve plenty left. I’ll dab it all over.’

  ‘So, you’ll follow orders?’

  ‘Yes, I’ll follow orders.’

  ‘And I’m assuming you’ll shut the fuck up until I’m done this time. I don’t want to hear from you, and I don’t want to see your ugly face. You lie there on your belly with your legs open and your fat arse sticking in the air for as long as required. Have you got that into your thick head?’

  He stalled for a few seconds, chuckling to himself as he pictured the scene.

  ‘Surely, you can manage that much? Even animals seem to fuck without too much difficulty.’

  Kathy wept silent tears as she slowly approached the bathroom door.

  ‘All right, Mike, I hear you. Is there anything else I can do for you? Anything at all? All you have to do is ask. Your wish is my command. I’m here to serve.’

  ‘No, I think that’s enough for you to be getting on with. I don’t want to overburden your enfeebled mind. What would that achieve?’

  ‘I’ll get on with it then, shall I?’

  ‘You do that… and stop all the moronic whimpering before I shut you up for good. What the hell’s wrong with you, woman?’

  ‘Nothing, nothing’s wrong with me.’

  He checked his watch.

  ‘You’ve got exactly ten minutes to get yourself ready, and then I’ll be up. It would not be a good idea to disappoint me again. If I can’t get hard, it will be down to you.’

  ‘Okay, Mike. I’ll get started.’

  ‘Oh, and one last thing before I let you go. Make sure you piss off back downstairs when I’m finished. You can sleep on the lounge floor. I want the bed to myself. I’ve got a busy day tomorrow. I want to be at my best.’

  Should she ask? Maybe it was worth the risk, yes… no… yes… no?

  ‘What a-about the settee? I slept on the settee last night. Would that be okay? I wouldn’t bother you before morning. I could have your breakfast ready and waiting at whatever time suits you best.’

  He was snarling now, as angry as she’d ever seen him as he rushed after her two steps at a time.

  ‘Are you deaf as well as stupid? If I’d meant the fucking settee, I’d have said the fucking settee. The floor’s good enough for the likes of you! You’re lucky you’re not sleeping in the shed with the rest of the rats. Even that’s better than you deserve. You’re probably related to most of them.’

  ‘I’m s-sorry, Mike, I wasn’t thinking.’

  Kathy lost her footing, dropping heavily to the floor, grazing her left knee. He reached down, grabbed her hair, dragged her to her feet and shoved her towards the bedroom door with one hand while undoing his trousers with the other. He loomed over her, hateful, radiating spite.

  ‘Now get your knickers off and perch on your knees with your pussy on offer. I’ve decided not to bother waiting.’

  Kathy hesitated, just for a fraction of a second. Fear feeding her indecision as it had many times before.

  He knocked her with his foot.

  ‘Too slow, bitch. You’re too fucking slow!’

  ‘Have you… have you got a condom?’

  ‘No, I fucking well haven’t.’

  ‘But you need to use–’

  He punched her hard in the back of her head, twice – making her giddy as she lurched forwards.

  ‘Please, Mike, I’m begging you. Please use—’

  ‘You can shove your fucking condom. Now, come on, move! I haven’t got all day. And make sure you’re nice and wet this time. I want to slip in easy. Come on, on all fours, arse in the air. Do it, now! You should be thanking me, not making me wait. I’m man enough for any woman and more than enough for you.’

  4

  Kathy peered out from behind the lounge curtains as a local supermarket delivery van plastered with brightly coloured advertising logos pulled up outside the house she shared with her husband. She checked her watch, rechecked it, and was already wait
ing in the open doorway by the time her middle-aged delivery man waddled down the path a minute or two later.

  ‘All right, love, you’re a keen one today. Put a smile on that pretty face of yours. It may never happen.’

  Kathy mumbled her response, barely audible, speaking as much to herself as him.

  ‘Maybe it already has.’

  He smiled unconvincingly.

  ‘Where do you want them, love? I’d better get a move on. I’ve got to be back at the store by two o’clock at the latest. It’s all go in this job. No rest for the wicked, eh?’

  Kathy nodded once, standing aside to allow him to wobble past.

  ‘Put everything in the kitchen, please. I’ll start unpacking while you get the rest.’

  He smiled again, spontaneously this time.

  ‘Okay, anything to please. I wouldn’t want to see you carrying them yourself. It’s all part of the service.’

  He carried the groceries from the hall, through the dining room and into the kitchen where he left them on the red-tiled floor before returning to the van to collect the remainder of Kathy’s order.

  ‘There you go, love, that’s the lot for today. Can you sign this for me? I don’t know why. Nobody ever looks at the damn thing.’

  ‘Any changes?’

  ‘No, nothing today, it’s all with you as ordered.’

  Kathy’s relief was almost tangible as she lifted the last of the overburdened grocery bags from their green plastic containers. She stood and smiled before signing the small screen with an unreadable squiggle.

  ‘Thanks again, it’s appreciated as always.’

  He picked up the two empty receptacles, approached the front door, then turned his head back.